Pain
by The Forgotten Nobody
Summary: After accidentally cutting himself, Kieren suddenly realises he's vulnerable.


Kieren is cooking dinner when he feels it. There is a burning sensation, originating from his finger and spreading slowly towards the nail and knuckle. The shock, more than the pain, makes Kieren drop the knife in his hand as a hiss involuntarily escapes his lips. He stares at his finger, now steadily bleeding from the cut he'd accidently inflicted, in wonder.

Kieren has only been fully alive for one day, 26 hours to be exact. During the period he'd been Warming Up, Kieren had only felt excitement for the things he would be able to do once again. Eat a full meal, have a drink with it, _feel_ everything. He wouldn't be forced away from places once the other residents believed he was alive and Jem would no longer have the rotter brother. With all that excitement, he'd forgotten one thing.

Vulnerability. Physical vulnerability. When he'd been undead, Kieren had been nearly invincible. The perks of not being able to feel a thing meant that any cut or bruise meant absolutely nothing to him. Now though, Kieren had red, oxygenated blood running through his veins that would leak out from the simplest of scratches. He knew the realisation was stupid, after all, he had lived with the knowledge for 18 years and hadn't cared. He'd even used to his advantage when he killed himself. But now, he did care. He didn't wanted this vulnerability, the awareness that everything could be taken away from him so easily. Kieren wanted to live and ironically, the fear of death to both himself and Simon was overwhelming.

Kieren doesn't know when he sank to the ground, only that he cannot get up again, too caught up in the realisation that he does not have the protection he once did and soon, neither will Simon. What if people don't believe he's alive and try to kill him, or worse, Simon once he has finished Warming Up? What if they succeed? Though Kieren knows he will not take the option he once did before, Kieren doesn't know how he would cope with the death of another loved one.

So caught up in his dark thoughts, Kieren doesn't notice the front door opening, nor the sound of Simon's voice calling to him. It is only when the man is right next to him, tilting Kieren's chin upwards that he becomes aware of him.

"Kieren? Kieren are you alright? Talk to me." Simon's voice is low and worried and with his alertness, Kieren also realises that his once bleeding finger has become numb. His eyes flick towards it and Simon's follow.

"You've hurt yourself," he mutters, taking the injured digit and inspecting it. The blood has already congealed but by his feet is a large splat of blood as Kieren never put a plaster on.

"Hold on." Simon stands up and Kieren hears the sound of the cupboard opening before is quickly shut again. He then hears the sound of water running from the tap briefly and Simon returns back to his crouched spot beside Kieren. "Here," he says, gently taking Kieren's finger once more and cleaning it with a wet tissue. After drying it, he wraps a plaster around it but instead of releasing Kieren's hand, he keeps a hold of it and slowly pulls Kieren up.

"Let's go sit down." Simon leads Kieren out of the kitchen and to the sofa upon which he seats Kieren, taking the spot next to him afterwards.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asks softly and Kieren isn't sure what to say. It all just sounds so stupid and not worth the reaction he is giving but…

"I cut my finger, and it bled," he replies, inwardly cringing at how much he sounds like an idiot. Simon doesn't comment on that though, only gives Kieren an understanding look after a second of thought.

"This is the first time you've been hurt since Warming Up?" He questions and Kieren nods.

"It just made me realise…I'm vulnerable now, and you will be too. What if something happens?" _Like it did with Rick. _

"Oh Ren," Simon breathes. "I can't promise you that nothing will happen to either of us, but what I can promise you is that I will be more careful, take the same risks any other living, breathing person would. I know you will too, if this is any indication." He gives Kieren a small smile that slightly lessens the panic that had been clawing at his chest. "I know that being undead allowed us to take more risks, gave us advantages no one else had. I liked it for a long while, that was, until I met you and my perspective changed. After all, if we didn't start to Warm Up then I wouldn't be able to feel this." Simon lifts one of his hands and presses it against Kieren's torso, right over his heart which is now beating harder for a slightly different reason. "I also wouldn't be able to feel this properly." He then leans forward and presses a soft kiss against Kieren's lips that makes the last of the panic disappear. The fear may still be there, but it is more controllable now thanks to Simon.

"Thank you," Kieren whispers, resting his forehead against Simon's.

"You don't have to thank me, just promise me the next time you cut yourself you'll at least put a plaster on it. You gave me a scare," Simon replies, giving Kieren one last kiss to prevent him apologising like he was going to.

"Why don't we order a take-away?" Simon suggests and Kieren remembers that he had been preparing dinner, the ingredients and cutlery still out in the kitchen. Embarrassment flares but Simon doesn't comment on his red cheeks, only gets out the menus they have stacked away. His finger throbs again, reminding him of his presence but this time he doesn't worry. It will heal and he will be fine. They both will. History will not repeat itself.


End file.
